Tragic Loss and Triumphant Strength

This week such a tragic, horribly sad event happened in our family. My cousin Melinda's little 2 year old boy died. Melinda's husband, Owen, is a police officer and had just put his gun on top of a high dresser in their bed room.  He left the room just for a second. Melinda is pregnant with twin boys, and was taking a little nap on the bed. Linkin came into the room without his parents knowing, climbed up the dresser and got the gun. The safety was on. He took the gun and got on to the bed next to his mom. Apparently  he started playing with the gun and it shot. Melinda woke up, and tragically, Linkin died.

  “Our Link”
Linkin Richard Leatham was born April 17, 2010 in Provo, UT, and tragically died in his
parents’ arms on September 11, 2012. He is survived by his mother and father, Melinda
and Owen Leatham, and his older brother, Strider.
Linkin’s life began and ended with great adversity. He was born with multiple medical
complications. As a result, he spent the first two months of his life at Primary Children’s
Hospital overcoming those considerable medical obstacles. He stunned doctors by his
quick recovery, with no lasting damage to his organs. He was a miracle from the
beginning, a fighter from the moment he entered this world.
Linkin enjoyed life to it’s fullest. He was always smiling, running, and playing. Linkin
loved trucks, airplanes, the moon and the stars, dancing, smiling, and wee-woos (his
name for police cars). Linkin’s infectious smile and playful personality always made
people laugh and drew others toward him. To know him was to be wrapped around his
tiny little finger. In Linkin’s short time on this earth, he has brought immeasurable joy to
countless people.
Linkin’s last gift was the donation of his heart and corneas, in hopes that through his
tragic passing, he might bring life and sight to another child.
Linkin was much loved and will be greatly missed.
The viewing will be held at the LDS stake center, 245 S 600 E in Springville, at 10:00
with the funeral to follow at 12:00.
A trust fund in Linkin’s name has been set up at America’s First Credit Union. The father
has requested that in lieu of flowers, friends and family will use that money to do
something memorable with their family.

I have mourned for my cousin Melinda, her husband Owen, and their 8 year old son Strider. It has hurt my heart so deeply. My twins, Abby and Jane are just 6 weeks younger than this little Linkin. I just can't imagine the pain Melinda, Owen and Strider must be feeling.  I've been so sick about this since it happened, and so worried about this little family.

Today was the funeral. So many people came. It was inspiring to see how many people love this little family and are there to love and support them in this crucible of their lives. I went with a very heavy and pained heart, but was comforted as I was there. In fact, I learned and relearned some of the most important lessons of life today.  I cried so hard that I've had a headache, but I've also felt the influence of the Holy Ghost so strongly as well.

What I re-learned:

Play with my kids and spend real time with them one on one every single day.
Link's dad, Owen, spoke at this funeral. He is truly a good man, and very loving daddy. He talked about the night before Link died, he had the opportunity for a whole hour just to play one on one with Link. He said he threw him up in the air, they laughed and just simply played together. He said that he would not change one thing about it, and was so very grateful that he had that opportunity.

I've been more patient with my children this week, remembering how grateful I am that I have them. I've hugged them a little longer and kissed them a little more. In Owen's talk he reminded us not to sweat the small stuff, but to love those little ones. What an essential reminder.  He talked about how every day when he'd get home from work, Link would run out and meet him. He'd jump in his daddy's police car and turn on every light and every siren. He'd turn the wheel all the way around, and just love every minute of being in the police car. Owen said that sometimes he'd get annoyed, and just wanted to go inside, but now he's so grateful that he let Link do that every day.

I am setting a goal to never ever be too busy for my children. They are my life, and the reason I'm here. It's interesting how sometimes the most important priorities, like playing with our children and purely spending time with them often aren't even on the "to do" list. I am so thankful for the reminder that playing and spending time with my children is on the list of the very highest priorities in this life. They are only children for a very small period of time in life, and in our whole existence. It's a time to treasure, and never wish away.


Life is about loving, absolutely not judging.
In this situation, there have obviously been some harsh judgements. This was a tragic accident. No one is suffering more than Owen and Melinda. People blame- I guess it's human nature. Someone who is hurting never  needs judgement, but understanding, and prayers. I've understood in this situation more than before in my life what it means to "mourn with those who mourn, and comfort those who stand in need of comfort."  None of us are perfect. We all make mistakes. Big mistakes. And even little mistakes. Thankfully though most of us don't have to suffer such tragic consequences.

Instead of pointing fingers, blaming, or criticizing, people need love and support. Not judgement. I sometimes wonder if one of the greatest tests of life is to overcome that self-righteous natural man in us that wants to lecture and think we know best, or think we would have done better than another. We're here to learn  love and  have humility. I am reminded of  Christ when the woman was being tried for committing adultery, and he told the people, "he who is without sin, cast the first stone." Christ is the only one who really could "stone"- he's the ONLY one without sin. Yet, he NEVER casts stones. He took upon himself the "stones", and beatings, and even death so that we can overcome ALL things. I feel so tender towards my cousins in this situation, and I have heard of few words of "stones" being cast at them, blaming them for this accident. I feel like I would gladly take the stones for them, and I am so grateful that I know that Jesus Christ already has.
In fact, the Stake President spoke at the end of the funeral and asked Owen and Melinda to please try, even though it will be hard to never say, "I wish I wouldn't have, or what if, or if only I had." Their priesthood leader declared them guiltless. Every one else should also. At the funeral there was an overwhelming confirmation that Link lived the life that Heavenly Father had wanted him to live, and that it was his time to go home. I hope that I will always remember that mourning with those who mourn and comforting those who stand in need of comfort is exactly opposite of judging others.

Life is a small part of our mortal existence. Life is in the Lord's time.
The moment that made me cry the most today was watching Strider, Link's big brother, say goodbye. People were around the casket saying their last goodbye's. I saw Strider several times standing there, just looking at Link. I would hear him whisper, "bye, buddy." Then he'd turn with eyes full of tears.

It hurt my heart.


I had a few thoughts, I don't know if they're true or not, but they gave me comfort. When Link was born, he had some serious problems. The doctors didn't think he'd make it. He healed miraculously, and was an extremely bright child. So smart.  When Owen spoke, he talked about how Link lived life "full speed ahead." Perhaps his little spirit knew that he wouldn't have a long mortal life, and just lived as full as he could in those 2 years.  I thought that perhaps his life was a gift of grace from the Lord to Melinda and Owen. The Lord could have taken him when he was born. In the plan of salvation, some need to come to earth just to get a body. He had it. But, perhaps the Lord let his life go on as a gift to his parents.  He already knew the lessons that the rest of us need to learn here in mortality. Linkin was a gift.

I also don't believe that the Lord makes bad things happen. In fact, I know he doesn't. There is no way He would cause a baby to die in this way. Never. But, I also believe that there is a time appointed for each person to die. I know that the Lord will not take someone before that appointed time. My thoughts on that are that maybe we all have guardian angels who help protect and preserve our lives daily. Maybe when a person is being called back home, those angels step back and when accidents happen, they are not prevented. I know the Lord has the power to prevent accidents through the Holy Ghost, and any other means. Many accidents have been prevented because it was not the person's time to go.

It was said several times in the funeral that indeed, for some reason we do not understand, that it was this little guy's time to go home. We don't understand why, and we don't understand why it happened the tragic way it did. But, it was so emphasized that Heavenly Father loves his children, and that it was Link's time. There are beautiful promises given to parents who lose a child. Everyone at the funeral felt the beautiful reality that Linkin will come forth in the Resurrection and that Melinda and Owen will be blessed to raise him in the pure and perfect time of the Millennium. We know that Linkin's spirit lives on, and we will all pass through the gates of death. That is one sure thing about life. But, while we're here, we must prioritize love for God and love for others. That's what it's all about.


This was most definitely a tragic loss. So heart wrenching. But, I also saw today what strength really means as I watched Melinda, Owen, and Strider. They had faith and grace-- which to me is pure strength.